An elderly couple died in their sleep after long lives and found themselves in heaven. After greeting them, Saint Peter took them on a tour of their new environment. He said, “Here is your seaside condo; and over there are the swimming pools, tennis courts, and two golf courses. If you need any drinks, just stop by any of the many bars located all around the area.”

After Saint Peter was done and had walked off, the old man turned to his wife and said angrily, “Heck, Millie, we could have been here 15 years ago if you hadn’t made us eat all that stupid oat bran, wheat germ, and low-fat food!”