A guy walks into a bar, and takes a seat, noticing that he’s the only customer.



The only person around is a bartender, who is on his phone, and who waves to indicate he’ll be with him as soon as he can.

The guy nods and waits patiently, but suddenly he hears a small voice say: “Nice shirt!” He looks around, but can’t see anyone other than the bartender, who is still on the phone.

He shrugs, thinking he’s just imagining things, when he hears a similar voice say: “Smart haircut, handsome!” Again he looks around nervously, but there’s nobody near who could possibly have spoken to him.


Then he hears yet another voice, soft and small like the first two: “You’re really looking sharp today, have you lost weight?” At this point the guy is completely bewildered, until he realizes that the voices seem to be coming from a bowl of nuts sitting on the bar counter.

At that moment the bartender has finished his phone call, and comes over to see what the guy wants to order. “What’s the deal with these nuts?” the guy asks. The bartender shrugs, saying, “They’re complimentary.”

Next joke?