A man and a parrot
A man and a parrot find themselves sitting next to each other on a plane. As the stewardess comes along, the man asks for a coffee, at which point the parrot shouts, “Get me a brandy and be quick about it!”
A little upset by his attitude, the stewardess goes off and returns with the brandy but not the coffee.
“Excuse me, Miss, you’ve forgotten my coffee,” he tells her.
“Oh, sorry,” she replies, and is just about to go when the parrot shouts even louder, “And get me another brandy, you incompetent cow!”
This time she’s very upset but returns quickly with the brandy, having forgotten once again to get the man’s coffee. “Maybe if I take the same attitude as this parrot, I might get results,” he thinks to himself.
“Hey, coffee, and be quick about it, you dozy bitch!” he shouts.
In no time at all the stewardess returns with two male colleagues who drag both the man and the parrot from their seats and throw them out of the emergency hatch. As the man passes the parrot on the way down, the bird turns to him and says, “You know, you’ve got a real attitude for someone who can’t fly.”