For the past 20 years my wife has been complaining about me not putting the cap back on the toothpaste. Last anniversary, I decided to change this bad habit and make my…
A blonde and a brunette are taking a break. The brunette pulls out a thermos and starts to sip coffee while eating her lunch. The blonde asks what’s up with the funny…
A woman drove to the local grocery store to buy a turkey to prepare for Thanksgiving dinner. She was picking through the frozen turkeys, but she couldn’t find one big enough for…
A young man goes to dinner at the GF’s house for the first time after having had beans for lunch. As they’re sitting around the table, the father asks, while petting the…
A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later: “Da-ad…” “What?” “I’m thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?” “No. You had your chance. Lights out.”…
A husband was sitting on the sofa one afternoon when his wife came up behind him and whacked him on the head. The husband asked ‘What the hell was that for?’ The…
A man was riding on a full bus minding his own business when the gorgeous woman next to him started to breast-feed her baby. The baby wouldn’t take it so she said,…