Skip to content

Linda Jokes

Best jokes ever…

Menu
  • Home
  • Long Jokes
  • Funny Questions
  • Riddles
  • Random Joke
Menu

Life

1) Life isn’t like a box of chocolates, it’s more like a jar of jalapenos — you never know what’s going to burn your butt.

2) I love deadlines. I especially like the “whooshing” sound they make as they go flying by.

3) Tell me what you need and I’ll tell you how to get along without it.

4) Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they aren’t there the first time, chances are you won’t be needing them again.

5) I don’t have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.

6) Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the hell is the ceiling?

7) My reality check bounced.

8) On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

9) I don’t suffer from stress; I am a carrier!

10) You are slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

11) Everyone is someone else’s weirdo.

12) Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.



13) Be careful, a pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.

14) Don’t be irreplaceable; if you can’t be replaced, you won’t be promoted.

15) The more bull you put up with the more bull you are going to get.

16) You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

17) So this isn’t Home Sweet Home. ADJUST!!!

18) Ring bell for maid service. If no answer, do it yourself!

19) I came, I saw, I decided to order take out.

20) Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

21) I’d live life in the fast lane, but I am married to a speed bump.

22) What should you give a man who has everything? A woman to show him how to work it!

23) How can you tell which bottle contains her PMS medicine?… It’s the one with bite marks on the cap!!!

Search joke

Latest jokes

  • Dracula Walking Down The Street
  • Man with A Lion
  • Tomato Family
  • Holmes And Watson
  • You Have Got a Nice Dog
  • Mirror On The Ground
  • A Rookie Cop
  • He Feels Like a Moth
  • Two Nuns and The Creepy Man
  • No, Sir!

Pages

  • Contact
  • Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms & Conditions
©2023 Linda Jokes | Design: Newspaperly WordPress Theme
We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies.
Cookie settingsACCEPT
Manage consent

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously.
CookieDurationDescription
cookielawinfo-checbox-analytics11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics".
cookielawinfo-checbox-functional11 monthsThe cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional".
cookielawinfo-checbox-others11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other.
cookielawinfo-checkbox-necessary11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-performance11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance".
viewed_cookie_policy11 monthsThe cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. It does not store any personal data.
Functional
Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features.
Performance
Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors.
Analytics
Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc.
Advertisement
Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads.
Others
Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet.
SAVE & ACCEPT