Man and the Duck
A guy gets on an airplane and finds himself sitting next to a talking duck.
A gorgeous young stewardess comes by and asks the guy and the duck if they would like anything to drink.
“I would like a cup of coffee, please,” says the guy.
“And I’d like a can of beer, you ugly pig!” shouts the duck.
The stewardess goes and gets a can of beer for the duck. But she is so shaken by the duck’s rudeness that she forgets the guy’s coffee.
When the stewardess comes back and gives the beer to the duck, the guy notices that she has forgotten his coffee. “Excuse me,” he says politely. “I ordered a cup of coffee, but you seem to have forgotten it.”
“Yea, you piece of s**t!” yells the duck. “And bring me another beer, you stupid f**king mule!”
The stewardess walks away, thinking about how the duck is swearing now. Once again, she remembers the beer but forgets the coffee.
When the stewardess comes back, the guy figures that if rudeness and swearing have gotten the duck what he wants, maybe it will also get him what he wants. “Listen, you dumb f**king b**ch”, he says. “Twice I’ve ordered a coffee, and twice you’ve forgotten my coffee. Now bring me my coffee, you fat cow!”
The stewardess loses her patience. She grabs the guy and the duck out of their seats. Then, with one powerful kick, she kicks open the emergency exit and throws the guy and the duck out of the plane.
As they are falling, the duck says to the guy, “You know, you have a pretty big mouth for a guy who can’t fly.”