A kid sees a homeless guy begging on the street,

And gets to chatting with him. The guy is nice enough but obtains from the conversation that the lad is off to put some money in the bank, and asks as the kids gets up to go.

“So, can you spare a few of those dollars, kid?”

“Are you going to use it on drugs?”

“No sir, food and drink only. Clean as a whistle, me.”

“Drink?” The kid quizzes. “You aren’t going to spend it on alcohol are you?”

“No sir. Haven’t touched a drop since ma wife died, good rest her.”

“And you’re not going to buy cigarettes with it?”

“No sir. I ain’t never smoked in my life.”

“Well, can you come home with me, then?”

“What? Why!?”

“Daddy’s been trying to tell mummy what happens to men who don’t do drugs, drink, or smoke for years!”