I got pulled over for texting while driving. Officer: Sir, you know you’re not supposed to be using your phone while driving, don’t you? Me: Well officer, I guess we all make…
A mom sent a text to her son… “Hi! Son, what does IDK, LY, & TTYL mean?” The son replied: “I Don’t Know, Love You, & Talk To You Later.” The mom…
A man walks into a bar and says “I’m here to drink my troubles away!” “Well you’ve come to the right place.” says the bartender, “What’ll it be?” The man replies “One…
I have a friend in prison who is very kind. Someone asked him to donate his eye, he gave it for free. Someone asked for his kidney, he also gave it for…
A stand-up comic gets a gig to perform at a old age home. Soon into his act he notices that most of the old people there are pretty out of it so…
I’m a physicist. It’s 3 AM. A woman paces angrily in her house waiting for her physicist husband to come home. Finally he does. As he walks through the door she glares…
A man walks into a supermarket. He grabs a bag of dog food, and brings it to the checkout. The cashier says: “sorry, according to store policy you need to bring your…
Three frogs exploring the forest decide to find a place to sleep since it was becoming late. One of the frogs spots a house in the distance so the three head towards…