Rufus The Dog
A young man goes to dinner at the GF’s house for the first time after having had beans for lunch.
As they’re sitting around the table, the father asks, while petting the family dog Rufus, what the young man’s intentions are for his daughter. The young man starts to reply that his intentions are honorable and that he intends to be respectful, but he realizes that he’s got a fart building, so he’s having trouble talking, but manages to mumble that he really likes her and would like the chance to get to know her.
As he finishes his statement he’s relieved to be able to have let out a little fart without making a sound but it stinks to high heaven and the father grumbles, “Rufus…”, as the dog settles under the table near his chair, so he figures this is a good thing, that they’ll just blame the dog.
As the mother asks him what he does for a living, he realizes that there’s more gas building and is thankful the dog is sitting next to him. As he tells the mom that he’s entry level management, he let’s out a little more than the last time and is met with the father delivering a sharper complaint of, “Rufus!”, and groans about the stench.
Feeling a bit more confident that the dog is going to take the blame, he decides to let out a huge amount more as he’s explaining his plans for climbing the corporate ladder and as he does so this time, there’s an audible squeak at the end and the father, finally having had enough, yells…
“Jesus Christ Rufus, get the fuck away from him before he shits on you!”