Long Jokes

A rich guy was looking for excitement so he decided to put an ad in the newspaper. The ad said, “I will give $10,000 to any person that can make my elephant…

A Mexican man who spoke no English went into a department store to buy socks. He found his way to the menswear department where a young lady offered to help him. “Quiero…

Me: What’s the wifi password? Bartender: You need to buy a drink first. Me: Okay, I’ll have a coke. Bartender: Is Pepsi okay? Me: Sure. How much is that? Bartender: $3. Me:…

An angel appears in a puff of smoke to a man and says to him, “Because you have lived a good and virtuous life, I can offer you a gift: you can…

There were 3 ants in a house. They all had to decide where they wanted to sleep. One ant decides to sleep in the cabinet, one in the cookie jar, and one…

A sweet old lady is making lunch for her husband one day… She had been making him the same lunch for the past 40 years. His favorite: a sandwich on italian bread,…

A guy sat next to me in the bus today and pulled out a photo of his wife. He asked me “Ain’t she beautiful?” I said “If you think she’s beautiful, you…

The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident in the Bay Of Fundy, Nova Scotia , a man answered his door to find two grim-faced Mounties. “We know it’s late,…