Long Jokes

A man was driving home late one afternoon above the speed limit. He noticed a police car with its red lights in his rearview mirror. He thought, “I can outrun this guy,”…

A man runs into the vet’s office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination…

A married man and his secretary are having an affair. They decide to leave the office early one day and go to the secretary’s apartment for an afternoon of lovemaking. They fall…

One day, a recently married man goes to the attic of his new home to put a few things in storage. While he is there, he notices a large steamer trunk sitting…

Becky was on her deathbed, with her husband Jake at her side. He held her cold hand and tears silently streamed down his face. Her pale lips moved. “Jake,” she said. “Hush,”…

Once upon a time there lived a woman in Brampton who had a maddening passion for baked beans. She loved them, but unfortunately they always gave her a very embarrassing, and somewhat…

A programmer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.” He bent over, picked up…

A student comes to a young professor’s office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, and kneels pleadingly. “I would do *anything* to pass this exam.” She leans closer to…