Long Jokes

Men’s Rules for Women ————————— 1) Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t…

Two old guys, Walt and Ray, were sitting in the park talking, when the subject turned to getting older. Ray said, “Women have all the luck when it comes to getting older.”…

A man was forced to take a day off from work to appear for a minor traffic summons. He grew increasingly restless as he waited hour after hour for his case to…

In this life I’m a woman. In my next life, I’d like to come back as a bear. When you’re a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for…

Two blonds decided to go shopping. A few hours later they come out and the first blond realizes that she has locked her keys in the car, so they spent a few…

One day a blonde was in a store, and saw a sign advertising a huge TV sale. She goes up to the salesman, and points to a shelf and says, “I want…

A man with a winking problem is applying for a position as a sales representative for a large firm. The interviewer looks over his papers and says, “This is phenomenal. You’ve graduated…

A brunette was walking down the middle of the street, saying “34…34…34” over and over again. A blonde stopped her and asked why she was doing that. “Oh, it’s great fun,” replied…