Long Jokes

A husband and wife are staring at their garden. “Sooner or later,” the wife comments, “you’re going to have to put in a better scarecrow.” “What’s wrong with the one we’ve got?”…

“Hi! My name is Gertrude,” says the lady to the man next to her on the airplane. “It’s so nice to meet you! I’m flying to New York for my grandson’s third…

A family moves into their new house. Grandma comes for a visit and asks the youngest child, a five-year-old, how he likes the new place. “It’s terrific,” he says. “I have my…

A man comes home one night to find his blonde wife reading his personal journal. “I can explain everything,” he begins. She interrupts him midsentence and exclaims, “You’re darn right you’ve got…

After traveling on business, Tim thinks it would be nice to bring his girlfriend a little gift. “How about some perfume?” he asks the cosmetics clerk. She shows him a fifty-dollar bottle….

A man hates his wife’s cat with a passion and decides to get rid of it once and for all. He drives twenty blocks away from home and drops the cat there….

A man goes into a restaurant. He has a seat at a booth and opens a menu to find out that none of the foods have prices next to them. He asks…

During late spring one year, a blonde was trying out her new boat. She was unable to have her boat perform, travel through water, or do any maneuvers whatsoever no matter how…