Long Jokes

Five surgeons were taking a coffee break and discussing their work. “I think accountants are the easiest to operate on,” said the first surgeon. “You open them up and everything inside is…

A guy with a black eye boards his plane and sits down in his seat. He notices immediately that the guy next to him has a black eye too. He says to…

A guy phones a law firm and says, “I want to speak to my lawyer.” The receptionist says, “I’m sorry, but your lawyer died last week.” The next day the same guy…

A blonde went into a local salon for a haircut. She was wearing a pair of headphones and she refused to take them off. The hairdresser tried to slip them off to…

A lady goes into a pet store one day. “I’m really lonely,” she says to the clerk. “I need a pet to keep me company.” “Well,” replies the clerk, “how about this…

Two brothers, Shawn and Curt, went fishing. Every time Shawn threw his hook in, he caught a fish, but Curt didn’t have the same success. By the end of the day, Shawn…

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he’s doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he’s going…

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead all work together in an office building. Their female boss always leaves work early. So one day the brunette says, “Lets skip out early today….