A big-city California lawyer went duck hunting in rural Texas. He shot and dropped a duck, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence from where the lawyer shot.



As the lawyer started to climb over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him just what the heck he thought he was doin’.

The lawyer responded, “I shot a duck and it fell into this field, and now I’m going to retrieve it.”

The old farmer replied, “You just hold on a dadburn minute. This is my property, and thar’s no way yur comin’ over that thar fence.”

The indignant lawyer said, “I am one of the best trial attorneys in the U.S. and if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take everything you own!

The old farmer smiled and said, “Apparently, you don’t know how we do things down here in Texas. We settle small disagreements like this with the ‘Texas Three-Kick’ rule.”

The lawyer asked, “What is the ‘Texas Three-Kick Rule’?”


The farmer replied, “Well, first I kick you three times, and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, ’till someone gives.”

The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and ambled up to the city feller. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer’s shins, causing him to hop on one foot. His second kick knocked the man right off his feet. With the lawyer flat on his back the farmer’s third kick caused him to see stars.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will, managed to get to his feet and said, “Okay, you old coot! Now it’s my turn!”

The old farmer smiled and said, “No way, mister, I give up. You can have the duck!”