A man walks into a bar and says “I’m here to drink my troubles away!” “Well you’ve come to the right place.” says the bartender, “What’ll it be?” The man replies “One…
Kidney Donation
I once donated a kidney and everyone said I was so selfless and that I was a hero. Later that month I donated three more and all of a sudden I’m some…
Kind Man in Prison
I have a friend in prison who is very kind. Someone asked him to donate his eye, he gave it for free. Someone asked for his kidney, he also gave it for…
A Stand-Up Comic
A stand-up comic gets a gig to perform at a old age home. Soon into his act he notices that most of the old people there are pretty out of it so…
Two Kidneys
I had the best Dad moment last night… *actual conversation with my 8 year old* Son: Dad… how many kidneys do I have? Me: Two. You have two, son. Son: Nope… I…
Pill Commercials
Pill commercials nowadays be like “After just one use, derpatine fixed my knee pain and I can run again!” “Consult a doctor if you’re experiencing any headaches, nausea, muscle pain, blurry vision,…
We Had So Much Fun
I’m a physicist. It’s 3 AM. A woman paces angrily in her house waiting for her physicist husband to come home. Finally he does. As he walks through the door she glares…
Store Policy
A man walks into a supermarket. He grabs a bag of dog food, and brings it to the checkout. The cashier says: “sorry, according to store policy you need to bring your…
