Long Jokes

After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the hospital director reviewed the rescuer’s file…

A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round…

A young boy comes down to breakfast one morning. His mother asks, “Have you done your chores yet?” “No,” replies the boy, “but could I have breakfast first?” “You know the rules,…

When the store manager returned from lunch, he noticed his clerk’s hand was bandaged, but before he could ask about the bandage, the clerk had some very good news for him. “Guess…

A man was always thinking up ways of making easy money and one day he thought he was on to a certainty. He taught his parrot to say the 23rd Psalm and…

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. “Well,” said the director, “we fill…

A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice. The father replies: “My son, there are three…

A priest walks into a bar and asks the first man he meets, “Do you want to go to heaven?” The man says he does. “Then stand over there my son.” The…