Three brothers age 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath, puts his foot in and pauses. He yells down the stairs,…
A guy comes home completely drunk one night. He lurches through the door and is met by his scowling wife, who is most definitely not happy. “Where the hell have you been…
Four engineers get into a car. The car won’t start. The mechanical engineer says: “It’s a broken starter” The electrical engineer says: “Dead battery” The chemical engineer says: “Impurities in the gasoline”…
A girl walks up to her mother and asks, “Mommy, why am I named Clover?” “Your grandma believes that it brings luck to our family.” Then, her other daughter walks up. “Mommy,…
During my physical examination, my doctor asked me about my physical activity level. I described a typical day: “Yesterday afternoon, I took a five-hour walk about seven miles along some pretty rough…
“The neighbors hate us.” “Why?” “Well, you remember when we had that bonfire in my yard, and were roasting marshmallows?” “Yeah, that was really fun.” “And remember how the house up the…
A duck walks into a bar and asks the barman. “Have you got any bread?” Barman: “No, sorry” Duck: “Have you got any bread?” Barman: “No” Duck: ”Have you got any bread?”…
A man came home from work sporting two black eyes. “What happened to you?” asked his wife. “I’ll never understand women,” he replied. “I was riding up an escalator behind this pretty…