Long Jokes

A man gets a flat tire outside the fence of an insane asylum. While he’s changing the tire he sees a patient on the other side of the fence observing him so…

A man asks his doctor: “Do you think I’ll live to be a hundred?” The doctor asks the man “Well, that depends. Do you drink?” “Oh, no sir! I abstain from all…

Haggard and tired Fred returns home from a long day of golf with his golf buddies. Fred’s wife greets him at the door and seeing his condition exclaims, “Honey, you look awful,…

A gentleman strolling alongside a canal observed an old man and his son fishing. A moment later, a splash was heard. The boy had fallen into the water. The old man, however,…

An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning till night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was…

A husband and wife are in line at the grocery store. The clerk asks if they have a preferred shopper’s card. “Yes,” says the wife, “but I left it at home.” The…

Fred came home from University in tears. “Mum, am I adopted?” “No of course not”, replied his mother. Why would you think such a thing? Fred showed her his genealogy DNA test…

A woman has a failing marriage, and she feels bad about it. Her husband won’t listen to her or acknowledge her, or anything. All he does is sit on the couch watching…