Long Jokes

The local high school has a policy that the parents must call the school if the student is to be absent for the day. Kelly, deciding to bunk and go to the…

An Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman and a fat man are all going skydiving. When they get to jump the Englishman shouts, “God save England!” The Scotsman shouts, “God save Scotland!” The Irishman shouts,…

3 men were sitting in a plane. They were talking about peace when the subject of weapons came up. They decided to never use weapons again to hurt anyone else. The first…

A man’s car broke down in the middle of the Nullarbor plain (in other words : middle of nowhere). There was not another car in sight, so he started walking… Three hours…

Two women were sitting beside each other in the airport. “Where are you flying to?”, the woman on the right asked. With an attitude, the other replied “You should never end a…

3 men were on the way to Heaven, but God would only let the man with the worst death in. The first man says, “Well, I was on the way to my…

A man walks into work with two bandages over his ears. His boss asks what happened. He replies, “I was ironing my shirt when the phone rang. I accidentally answered the iron.”…

One night a police officer noticed a car that was traveling very slowly down the highway. When he pulled it over the driver asked, “What did I do wrong, officer?” “You were…