“The neighbors hate us.” “Why?” “Well, you remember when we had that bonfire in my yard, and were roasting marshmallows?” “Yeah, that was really fun.” “And remember how the house up the…
A duck walks into a bar and asks the barman. “Have you got any bread?” Barman: “No, sorry” Duck: “Have you got any bread?” Barman: “No” Duck: ”Have you got any bread?”…
A man came home from work sporting two black eyes. “What happened to you?” asked his wife. “I’ll never understand women,” he replied. “I was riding up an escalator behind this pretty…
Two men walk into a bar, one wearing a cowboy hat and the other wearing a Holden cap. The man in the Holden cap approaches the bartender and makes a bet: ‘I’ll…
A woman calls her husband at work to share some news. “I’m kind of busy right now, babe, can’t it wait until I get home?” “Not really,” she replies. “I’ve just got…
“Well there is one heart, very rare but the very best. It belonged to a sixty-five-year-old man. He drank and smoked to excess, he was thirty pounds overweight and he never exercised….
A sheriff’s deputy pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the woman at the wheel was knitting! The deputy cranked down…
The bartender asks “Why the long face?” The man replies “I just found out my wife is sleeping with another man. I’ve decided I’m going to drink myself to death.” The bartender…